Introducing Peninah

We'd like to introduce you to Peninah (a.k.a. Penny). Penny now lives in the house with mom and helps to care for her around the clock. She also helps with general housework.

Having Penny here has taken such a load off of my brother and me. Just having the extra set of hands has been such a blessing.

The kids have warmed right up to Penny and she's thankful to have them around. She's one of the family and makes wonderful tea.

Penny has lived in the States for several years now. She came over from Kenya. Much of her family is still in Kenya and there is a lot of fighting and unrest in her country at this time.

Mom has taken to Penny and appreciates her gentle voice and touch. We're so thankful for the smooth transition and welcome Penny with open arms!

Friendship

Mom enjoyed a visit from one of her life long friends this past weekend. Ann is a nurse as well and the two met while working in a hospital in New Jersey. Mom wasn't able to speak, but she recognized Ann when she arrived.

Visits mainly consist of watching mom rest, but she opens her eyes often, making sure we're still there. She enjoys the simple pleasure of holding a hand. We'll try to keep short updates coming each day.

Resting

Mom sleeps more and more these days. Since she doesn't eat any more her body is in "starvation" mode. She's continuing to lose weight and her muscles continue to grow weaker and weaker. She can still bear weight, but not walk as her legs are too weak. Hospice brought in a hospital bed and she rests comfortably in that during the night. During the day she sits in her recliner and takes cat naps throughout the day. Someone is always with her should she need anything.

I miss her smile. I don't know if it's too much effort, or if there's nothing to smile about. We're not sure she understands what is happening or if she's just taking each day in stride. A dear friend from college is coming for a visit tomorrow and I'm hoping that will bring a smile to her face.

Thanks so much for the emails and words of encouragement. I pass each one along to mom and my brother.

Still Smiling

It usually doesn't take much to make mom laugh, however, these past two weeks, she just seems vacant. It's been such a challenge to bring a smile to her face. We have an old cane in the house so today I grabbed it and started walking all hunched over. Right away a broad smile came across her face. It's both encouraging and refreshing to see that she can still smile!

Today the hospice nurse, Louise, came to check on Mom. Each time she comes, she comments on the rapid decline of Mom's health. She checked mom's blood pressure and said it was low. Not uncommon for someone in her condition. A hospital bed was ordered as Mom is having difficulty walking and it will be easier to take care of her in the bed. Not much longer now.

It's so bittersweet. We've lost our mom little by little over these past 8 years. Caring for her during this time has only strengthened our love for her. When she passes away, some of you will be relieved for us that she is no longer a burden. It has been difficult, yet we will still grieve. We have no regrets. We will miss her.

Don't get me wrong, we are rejoicing with her as Mom will enter eternity. I don't say that lighty. One of the most vivid memories I have as a little girl was my mom's assurrance of faith. I would ask her if she knew for certain she would go to heaven. She always said, "I know that I will be in heaven someday because I've placed my complete trust in Jesus." How could she know? She did and it is her greatest wish that each one who reads this knows, not just "hopes" that he or she will go to heaven and live for eternity.

Thirst

Mom had a quiet day today. She rested much of the day and watched a bit of TV. She refused most drinks we offered and is just losing interest in food and liquids. I ask her if she's thirsty, and often she'll say no.

As I go through difficult times I often find myself not realizing how "spiritually" thirsty I am until I am so "dry". I am thankful for a Heavenly Father Who continually draws me back to His loving arms. Our family rejoices with our mom as she will soon be with Him in both body and soul! What an awesome thought. She will be fully healed.

Often mom will make a quiet grunting or mumbling noise during the day...sometimes for minutes at a time. We'll ask if she's saying something, but there's no reply. Mom's lack of ability to use words to communicate can cause sheer desperation at times... especially for me!

Today, I started singing the hymn Because He Lives. She immediately stopped. As usual when John and I sing to her, she quiets down instantly and listens. "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone...because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives." She even hummed along and when we finished, she made a face that communicated pure assurance.

The hospice nurse is scheduled to come Friday. She'll check mom's blood pressure, heart, and lungs and spend a bit of time with us. I'll probably have more to update after that visit.

We appreciate your continued prayers for wisdom and comfort.

January 14

We hope you find this blog helpful as we try to update it regularly on mom's condition. Last month she visited the doctor and had a weight loss of over 20 lbs. in less than 2 months. My brother and I were given a grim prognosis of 3 to 6 months. Mom's dementia affects her ability to eat and drink. Swallowing is difficult and that accounts for the weight loss.

The hospice nurse will be coming to visit tomorrow. She comes about once a week and a nursing assistant comes Monday through Friday to help out.

We also have Peninah (Penny) who has been hired as a full time live in. She helps care for mom as well. She's a wonderful lady with a lot of love to give. Mom has really warmed up to her. Our visits are meaningful and mom still knows us. She smiles less and less, so we cherish each one.