Hello

Hi Everyone, I realize we haven't been posting very often, however, so little has changed from post to post. Today I took a small video of mom so you all could see her. She recently had a bed sore which is healing nicely. Penny takes care to make sure she spends time on her side. It's not as pleasant for mom and she seems more restless when laying on her side, however, it's best to help heal/prevent bed sores. We were able to get some "I Love Lucy" episodes on DVD for her to watch during the day. She seems to enjoy those. We hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving and are looking forward to celebrating Christmas. Love, Julie (for John and Mom)

Not Much New

Well, it's been awhile, however, there's not much new to report. Mom continues to be stable and is doing well, considering her illness. She continues to eat 3 to 4 small meals a day along with a couple of snacks. She's put some weight back on which is a blessing. We are so thankful that she hasn't had any major bedsores. Some small outbreaks have healed very well. About two months she began a different medicine to help with anxiety which seems to be working. She's not as restless as she was before.

We're celebrating a Phillies victory. Mom has a Phillies blanket which keeps her toastie at night. She and Dad always enjoyed watching ball games when we were little and Johnny and I were reminiscing how Dad bought a new color TV to see the Phillies go on to win the World Series in 1980.

Well, we trust you are all well and appreciate you checking in for updates. Please continue to pray for both my brother, John, and myself. There's so much to be done around the property it's just overwhelming and the list seems to keep growing.

August Update

Good morning. It's a foggy August morning and I'm sure the humidity is on the rise again. Saturday was an absolutely beautiful day here but Sunday was quite rainy. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written an update on Mom, but it's partly due to the fact that there's really nothing new to report to you all.

Most people would visit and feel complete sympathy for our mom...especially if they knew Jackie 10 years ago! Mom was so articulate and loved to be with people and talk with them. She's still much the same way, except she's unable to be understood. We're not really sure how much mom understands. Her dementia is different than Alzheimer's so we're not sure what kind of confusion she faces each day or even what she's thinking. However, she seems to still know us and greets us with a smile most days.

At times she seems restless but we're working with a new medication which seems to be helping her calm down during the day. She sleeps through the night and still has a very healthy appetite. Mom enjoys spearmint gum but we don't enjoy having to coax her to give it up. She'll chew the same piece for hours! We're afraid she's going to take off our fingers one of these days when we try to get it out of her mouth.

Hospice continues to come to the house every day to help with her care. She has received excellent care and has no bed sores. Her skin is beautiful and I never realized how pretty my mom was until this ordeal. She has beautiful white hair and her skin has very few wrinkles. Our local hairdresser comes to the house now to cut her hair and mom still allows us to style it. I think she finds it therapeutic.

We trust you all are enjoying the summer and we appreciate your faithfulness in praying for our family as we continue to go through this trial with our mom.

Mom Turns 77

As we celebrate the beginning of summer, we also celebrated mom's 77th birthday! We're so very thankful that she was able to see another birthday. She enjoyed a quiet day at home, and we want to thank all of you who sent cards. She received so many and we sat down and read each one to her.

Mom continues to eat regular meals but we're convinced that she savors ice cream the most!

Although unable to speak, we can get her to laugh most days and some days she's quite giddy. We don't always know how to calm her when she's restless. It doesn't appear that she's in any pain. When asked if she's having any pain, she can still answer "No." We believe it's just her dementia causing confusion and fear. John will often sit next to her and just pray with her which seems to calm her more than anything else.

Unbelieveable!

Sorry we haven't updated in a couple of weeks, but mom continues to eat, and Eat, and EAT! We're thrilled with how well she is doing. She is still unable to walk, but we have a wheelchair for her that enables us to get her outside a bit nowadays. We've had quite a bit of rain and cool weather, but things are looking up! Mom's spirits are good and she's not in any pain. God is good and we are truly thankful for the time He has given us with mom.

Smiley

It brightens our day to see Mom smile. She's doing well. She's not in any pain. And she's enjoying several small meals each day. Although bedridden, we are able to move her to her chair for periods of time. We're looking forward to the warmer weather and hoping she can sit in her wheelchair out on our deck to take in some sun. For the most part, she sleeps well at night and Penny continues to take excellent care of her. We are also grateful for hospice and the commitment to care they show toward mom. They are all surprised at how well she's been doing. We're simply thankful and it seems that mom is as well.

Don't Ask Me to Explain It

"Don't ask me to explain it", said mom's hospice nurse. My reply was simply, "You don't have to." Mom is eating again. She started eating about 3 weeks ago. I was snacking on some cashew nuts and mom threw me a look as if to say, "What do you have there"? She always liked nuts and especially cashews. I asked her if she would like one and she nodded so I placed it on her lip. I was a bit reluctant because she hasn't eaten in so long and I was worried she could choke. Well, she chewed it up into tiny bits and swallowed it. I gave her another and the same thing. Then another...and another...and another. She ate about 6 altogether and we figured that was enough for someone who hadn't had any solid food for almost 3 months.

Since then, she has graduated to 2 or 3 small meals each day. Breakfast includes Ensure, a piece of toast and a 1/2 cup of coffee. Later in the day she may have fish, meatloaf, or spaghetti with some vegetables and rice. Again, these are small portions, but she's eating. She's also eating ice cream, pudding, yogurt, and she still enjoys her cashews!

God has allowed her to enjoy eating again. She looks better and is smiling more these days. We thank God for each day we have with mom and thank you for your prayers and notes of encouragement.

Music to My Ears

This past Sunday we celebrated Easter. This is my favorite holiday of the whole year and the first time our mom was not able to attend Easter service. Our caretaker, Penny, had off so I went to the "Sonrise" service at my church, ate breakfast afterward (which was prepared and served by the youth group...thanks, Rachel) and came home to be with mom so John could go to his church.

A soloist sang a beautiful medley of hymns including A Mighty Fortress is Our God, Rock of Ages, Victory in Jesus, and Because He Lives. I found myself fighting back the tears as I sat and listened to her as these are the very songs that we've been singing to mom over these past months. They bring her comfort as nothing else can. TV can no longer hold her attention and too many people around only bring confusion not comfort.

Mom continues to grow weaker and over this past week her skin has lost the healthy color it once had. All we can do is offer her a drink, sing to her, hold her hand, and rub her back or her feet. We try to make the most of our visits with her and let her rest.

I think of the sorrow and heartbreak that was felt by those who were close to Jesus when He died. They were crushed. They did not understand that God would raise Him from the dead and conquer death.

Matt 16:21 From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day.

Then I think of the joy they felt when they saw Him that first "Easter" morning.

John 20:30-31 In his disciples' presence Jesus performed many other miracles which are not written down in this book. But these have been written in order that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through your faith in him you may have life.

We, too, have heavy hearts as we watch our mom go through this and prepare to say goodbye, yet, there is great comfort and joy in knowing that we will spend eternity with her...not because she has led a good life...not because she was kind or generous...not because her good outweighed her bad. We will spend eternity with her because of what Christ accomplished so long ago. He not only died for her sin and the sin of the world...He conquered death and therefore we can sing, Because He Lives and Victory in Jesus!

Trusting in God

Posted by John D. Romann

It would be my desire that no one have to watch someone decline in sickness as I have watched my mom decline from 1999 and 2000 to now (March 2008).
God in His sovereign wisdom does ordain sickness and suffering. I would like to mention a few things that have helped me over the last few years.
Mom’s perishable body will die, but her soul will not, and she will receive and imperishable body. (I Cor. 15:35-57) Those who put their trust in what Christ has done for them have a concrete reason for being optimistic about their futures. When we see the word “hope” in the Bible it has that meaning, a concrete reason for being optimistic.

1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls.

Jesus reminds us that we must trust God for our needs, and to take things one day at a time.

Matthew 6:25-34
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? "And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God promises to supply our strength.
1 Peter 4:8-11
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Your prayers for Jackie (Mom), John, Julie, Julie’s family and Penny (the lady who is helping care for mom) are greatly appreciated.

Helpless

Each day is a new day and proves God's faithfulness to us. My brother continues to be mom's primary caregiver along with Penny, the lady we've hired to help with her care. Hospice continues to come to the house each day which gives Penny a bit of a break. I try to visit and help out each day as I'm able.

It's such a challenge to try to figure out how to console mom when she's restless. We don't know if she's scared. She doesn't appear to be in pain, but then again, she really can't tell us. She spends each day either in bed or her chair and we're looking forward to some warm days when we can finally take her outside.

These past two nights have been rough nights for Penny and John. Please pray that we can figure out what's bothering her or give her the right medicine to help calm any pain or anxiety she may be having.

Also, we'd ask for prayer as brother John and I continue to balance "life" with spending time with mom. John's got a full plate right now with work, filling out various paperwork and doing mom's taxes as her POA, as well as other things. We continue to home school and try to help out where we can.

We appreciate that so many continue to check for updates and we'll keep you posted on any changes.

Each week a bit weaker

It's been a while since I've written. There hasn't been much change since my last post, however, mom is not drinking as well these days. It's hard because she blocks the liquid that she needs for sustenance. We offer and coax, but not much tastes good to her anymore. We still offer and usually once or twice a day, my brother will get her to drink 4 to 6 ounces. It seems more difficult each day. There's not much more to say. We're glad to hear that you are still checking the website and hope to keep you updated.

Pampered Feet

This is a picture of mom that was taken a little over a year ago when she came to visit me (Julie) in Canada. She was enjoying a bit of pampering when a friend came over and gave her a pedicure. She still enjoys a foot rub and Denise, one of the assistants from hospice, does an excellent job. We've been so thankful for all of those who come and help out from hospice. They continue to come each day for one to two hours.

Mom's been sleeping more soundly this past week. Each day is a learning experience and since she can't verbally communicate, we're beginning to read her discomfort a bit better.

Mom is continuing to drink liquids and seems to do well with chocolate flavored Ensure mixed with milk, orange juice (diluted with water) and water. She enjoys a back rub, so we tried rolling her onto her stomach last week, but that didn't go over to well. She's just too "stiff" these days.

Music is the one thing that really relaxes her. She loves to listen to hymns on CD as well as a sermon now and then. She also seems to enjoy looking at photos. It would be nice to put together a photo book for her so if any of you have recent photos and can email or send them to us (jjmeyers@hotmail.com) we'd really appreciate it. If you could include your name and the date the photo was taken, that would make it easier for me.

We just want to express our thanks to all who have been checking this blog, as well as sending notes of encouragement. We continue to cherish your prayers.

Chocolate Ice Cream

For those of you who know our mom, she has always loved ice cream. As most of you know, she stopped eating a little over a month ago. The one thing that she has taken from time to time is chocolate ice cream. For those of you who are from the Eastern PA area, and have access to Green's Ice Cream, we highly recommend the Dutch Chocolate. At least, mom seems to really enjoy it.

She has been growing more and more restless during the day and night and since she can't speak, it's a guessing game to figure out what's troubling her. Is she in pain? Scared? What's she trying to tell us? Does she want to sit up? Lay down? Is she uncomfortable? Is she thirsty? Hungry? ...and the list goes on. It is so very difficult to see a loved one in need and not know how to meet that need. We are constantly trying new things and ask you to pray for wisdom for us and peace and comfort for mom.

We've heard a lot of positive feedback about this site and are glad it's proven to a blessing for so many to check and get updates. Please email any questions (jjmeyers@hotmail.com) you may have and we'll be happy to answer them.

For mom and John,
Julie

A Picture from the Past

No real update on mom these days. She continues to grow weaker and weaker, but no significant change other than that. She sleeps most of the day but has restless moments and has been restless at night. Please pray that she'll sleep more soundly.

This past week Mom enjoyed visits from two neighbors, Mary and Linda. It was good of them to come. It's hard to read her these days as she doesn't smile anymore and gives very little response to anything.

We thought some of you may enjoy a family picture, including our dog Sparky. This was taken at Brooklyn Navy Yard in the 70's. Notice the twin towers in the background.

Room with a View

Most of you know that a hospital bed was brought in about 2 weeks ago. We decided to place her bed in the living room so she could still look out of the window. We wanted to show you that Mom has a beautiful view of the valley, the view that she's enjoyed for the past 35 years.

She spends most of her days sleeping, or I should say resting. Because she is not eating, her body is growing weaker and weaker. She still manages a smile though.

Yesterday, we were at the grocery store and (brother) John called our cell phone and left a message for us to pick up some cookies. (Husband) John listened to the messages and found some large chocolate chip cookies and placed them in the cart and said, "Your brother called and wants some big cookies." It didn't make sense because that's not something he would typically eat, but I thought maybe he wanted the cookies to see if mom would eat them. After we got home, (brother) John saw the chocolate chip cookies on the table and asked, "did you get any fig cookies?" I cracked up. I told (husband) John, "He said fig cookies not big cookies." Mom had a smile on her face. It was worth it!

Introducing Peninah

We'd like to introduce you to Peninah (a.k.a. Penny). Penny now lives in the house with mom and helps to care for her around the clock. She also helps with general housework.

Having Penny here has taken such a load off of my brother and me. Just having the extra set of hands has been such a blessing.

The kids have warmed right up to Penny and she's thankful to have them around. She's one of the family and makes wonderful tea.

Penny has lived in the States for several years now. She came over from Kenya. Much of her family is still in Kenya and there is a lot of fighting and unrest in her country at this time.

Mom has taken to Penny and appreciates her gentle voice and touch. We're so thankful for the smooth transition and welcome Penny with open arms!

Friendship

Mom enjoyed a visit from one of her life long friends this past weekend. Ann is a nurse as well and the two met while working in a hospital in New Jersey. Mom wasn't able to speak, but she recognized Ann when she arrived.

Visits mainly consist of watching mom rest, but she opens her eyes often, making sure we're still there. She enjoys the simple pleasure of holding a hand. We'll try to keep short updates coming each day.

Resting

Mom sleeps more and more these days. Since she doesn't eat any more her body is in "starvation" mode. She's continuing to lose weight and her muscles continue to grow weaker and weaker. She can still bear weight, but not walk as her legs are too weak. Hospice brought in a hospital bed and she rests comfortably in that during the night. During the day she sits in her recliner and takes cat naps throughout the day. Someone is always with her should she need anything.

I miss her smile. I don't know if it's too much effort, or if there's nothing to smile about. We're not sure she understands what is happening or if she's just taking each day in stride. A dear friend from college is coming for a visit tomorrow and I'm hoping that will bring a smile to her face.

Thanks so much for the emails and words of encouragement. I pass each one along to mom and my brother.

Still Smiling

It usually doesn't take much to make mom laugh, however, these past two weeks, she just seems vacant. It's been such a challenge to bring a smile to her face. We have an old cane in the house so today I grabbed it and started walking all hunched over. Right away a broad smile came across her face. It's both encouraging and refreshing to see that she can still smile!

Today the hospice nurse, Louise, came to check on Mom. Each time she comes, she comments on the rapid decline of Mom's health. She checked mom's blood pressure and said it was low. Not uncommon for someone in her condition. A hospital bed was ordered as Mom is having difficulty walking and it will be easier to take care of her in the bed. Not much longer now.

It's so bittersweet. We've lost our mom little by little over these past 8 years. Caring for her during this time has only strengthened our love for her. When she passes away, some of you will be relieved for us that she is no longer a burden. It has been difficult, yet we will still grieve. We have no regrets. We will miss her.

Don't get me wrong, we are rejoicing with her as Mom will enter eternity. I don't say that lighty. One of the most vivid memories I have as a little girl was my mom's assurrance of faith. I would ask her if she knew for certain she would go to heaven. She always said, "I know that I will be in heaven someday because I've placed my complete trust in Jesus." How could she know? She did and it is her greatest wish that each one who reads this knows, not just "hopes" that he or she will go to heaven and live for eternity.

Thirst

Mom had a quiet day today. She rested much of the day and watched a bit of TV. She refused most drinks we offered and is just losing interest in food and liquids. I ask her if she's thirsty, and often she'll say no.

As I go through difficult times I often find myself not realizing how "spiritually" thirsty I am until I am so "dry". I am thankful for a Heavenly Father Who continually draws me back to His loving arms. Our family rejoices with our mom as she will soon be with Him in both body and soul! What an awesome thought. She will be fully healed.

Often mom will make a quiet grunting or mumbling noise during the day...sometimes for minutes at a time. We'll ask if she's saying something, but there's no reply. Mom's lack of ability to use words to communicate can cause sheer desperation at times... especially for me!

Today, I started singing the hymn Because He Lives. She immediately stopped. As usual when John and I sing to her, she quiets down instantly and listens. "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone...because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living, just because He lives." She even hummed along and when we finished, she made a face that communicated pure assurance.

The hospice nurse is scheduled to come Friday. She'll check mom's blood pressure, heart, and lungs and spend a bit of time with us. I'll probably have more to update after that visit.

We appreciate your continued prayers for wisdom and comfort.

January 14

We hope you find this blog helpful as we try to update it regularly on mom's condition. Last month she visited the doctor and had a weight loss of over 20 lbs. in less than 2 months. My brother and I were given a grim prognosis of 3 to 6 months. Mom's dementia affects her ability to eat and drink. Swallowing is difficult and that accounts for the weight loss.

The hospice nurse will be coming to visit tomorrow. She comes about once a week and a nursing assistant comes Monday through Friday to help out.

We also have Peninah (Penny) who has been hired as a full time live in. She helps care for mom as well. She's a wonderful lady with a lot of love to give. Mom has really warmed up to her. Our visits are meaningful and mom still knows us. She smiles less and less, so we cherish each one.